Has this ever happened to you? You’re settling down under the covers, getting ready for bed, your head hits your pillow…and you are immediately met with that horrific memory from six grade. You know the one. Maybe your voice cracked in the middle of singing a song, or you tripped in front of everybody, or you got doused by cafeteria food–maybe all of the above at once! We all have those awkward memories that pop up every now and again. Worse still, we all have regrets. Maybe the thing that keeps you up at night isn’t a schoolyard embarrassment, but the pain of what someone else did or said to you, or the memory of something you did that hurt somebody else. Whatever it is that plagues you in the off hours, accepting where you are, what you’ve survived, and who you are now can help bring you healing.
How to Accept Yourself
● Accept the past: Recognize that what has happened is over, and it does not define you. You have survived, changed, and moved forward. You have skills you didn’t have and more experience to help you put the past in its place. Today is a new day.
● Vocalize your past: Telling your story can be done through the written word, through a song, through speaking it, or through creating art. There are many ways to “tell” your story, and process through the emotions that parts of it still evoke. Recounting past traumatic situations has been proven to help people mentally categorize their trauma in a healthier manner. With the tools of your choice, you can do something similar. By forming a narrative about who you were in the past and who you are today, you can provide distance between things past and present.
● Say positive affirmations: You may wish to recite affirmations to yourself or out loud that tell you the truth in a positive way. Phrases such as, “I am not who I once was,” “I am strong,” “I am not alone,” or “I am getting better with each passing day” can reprogram the negatives that seeped in over time. If you don’t feel like you believe what it is that you’re telling yourself, say it again, this time more strongly. Even when you don’t believe it, the simple act of saying these things in a confident way can change how your mind processes your own perception of yourself.
● Acknowledge your flaws: Even today, after all that humanity has learned over thousands of years, we’re still not perfect. Everyone still sees flaws in themselves and those around them. You’ve heard the saying, “You’re only human.” Yet, being human doesn’t have to mean wallowing in your failures. It certainly doesn’t have to mean backtracking to a person you used to be. Being human means to acknowledge who you were, warts and all, and embracing the benefits of who you are now.
● Acknowledge what makes you great: Lastly, look at all the qualities about yourself that you like. What are your passions? What do you love? What good qualities do you see in others that you also see in yourself? Think on these things, repeat them to yourself, and nurture them.
● Take a personality test: There are many personality tests available on-line. If you’d like to learn more about yourself, you might try one out! You might find you are a “Type A” personality or get other codes that mean something according to the test, but whatever results you get, you remain the expert in you.
You can be whoever you want to be, and it all starts with accepting yourself just as you are.
For more techniques to help you take control of your own life, or if you are suffering from depression, anxiety, or trauma, Omaha Trauma Therapy is here to help! EMDR and Brainspotting therapy techniques are our specialty. We want to provide you with a holistic approach toward reaching your mental health goals. Contact us.